Every once in a while I like looking at what’s trending on Twitter and seeing how I can… um… “add” to the conversation.
Last night, I noticed that “#TeenChoiceShouldHave” was trending.
Apparently, it was the endeavor of a new account (likely not official) set up to promo the site.
Maybe it’s years of youth ministry that crawled out in my responses. Maybe I was just in the mood to be a little snarky.
Maybe I’m just tired of teen award shows that are more predictable and promotional than useful.
Here’s what I tweeted in response:
#TeenChoiceShouldHave people who just shout “WOOOO!” at whatever a good-looking celebrity says.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave a new category called “Choice Shiny Turned Up Chirped Swag Money Mupload” that makes everyone go “Is that a thing?”
#TeenChoiceShouldHave hashtags for the hashtags that you use while eating hash that’s been tagged… for salmonella.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave some sort of mad movie preview that is “so fetch.”
#TeenChoiceShouldHave a live feed of Abraham Lincoln on location at Daytona Beach.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave some reference to marriage, and how it’s between a husband and a wife. You know… to be different.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave some emo peeps connect with a swerve fam like a supersized frenemy tope moment. It’d require someone affluential, tho.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave a special “In memorium” montage to the abbreviation/phrase/hashtag “YOLO.”
#TeenChoiceShouldHave the ability to unfollow them after you friend them so you can pin it and subtract them from your circles.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave the Queen of England host the whole show. For real.
You think I’m kidding? I’ve never been more serious.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave everyone famous taking a #selfie after ordering pizza.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave ten browser tabs open at the top, each with another award show live streaming.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave a special duet between a live-action Maleficent and a cgi Elsa from Frozen.
Oh, and the Queen of England. For real.
Then celebrations of the trending.
Then awkward “topic changing while texting” when the trending stops.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave Taco Bell.
Not sure why.
Shoot… now I’m hungry for Taco Bell.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave the urban sombrero.
Look it up.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave no wifi and be hosted in a facility that blocks cellphone signals. Film the audience. Now THAT’S entertainment!
#TeenChoiceShouldHave the countdown clock from 24 before and after every commercial.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave the cast from a new TV show that wants to appear hip and cool introduce a category about “hotties.”
#TeenChoiceShouldHave teenagers… and only teenagers. No one over 18 is admitted. #awkward
#TeenChoiceShouldHave Corey Feldman and ALF singing “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys.
#TeenChoiceShouldHave performances by the bands LOL, BRB, CYA, IMHO and OIC.
I have no idea if that entertained you.
Honestly, I laughed myself silly cranking out each one.
That’s what I wanted to talk to you about…
how sure are you that what you’re putting out there that you think is incredible is actually connecting with students?
Maybe they’re tired of youth ministry that is more predictable and promotional than useful.
P.S. Got any #TeenChoiceShouldHave tweets you’d create?