I’ve worked with 18-25 years olds for over a dozen years now and one of the realities I’ve had to work through is the fact of having to walk alongside parents, too. This can often be a time of deep relational tension and much of that comes from the hopes, dreams and expectations of parents not being met. Their child might not be moving in the direction they think is best or had hoped for. Or maybe their child isn’t moving in any direction at all.
In my book, Worlds Apart: Understanding the Mindset and Values of 18-25 year olds, I list out the 4 following questions that I have asked parents to consider asking themselves. Maybe you would consider them too:
- What do I value about my child?
- Do I allow my child’s life and results to reflect on me so much that they dictate my relationship with and my counsel to my child?
- Do I really value my child for who he or she is today, regardless of what he or she does or becomes?
- Do I place a higher value on what I personally want for my child than I do what he or she wants?
If you are trying to deepen your relationship with your college age child, answer these questions honestly. If you do, you just might find you and your child’s worlds coming together in ways you have always hoped for.