Challenge accepted.

Every once in a while I like looking at what’s trending on Twitter and seeing how I can… um… “add” to the conversation.

Last night, I noticed that “#TeenChoiceShouldHave” was trending.

Apparently, it was the endeavor of a new account (likely not official) set up to promo the site.


Maybe it’s years of youth ministry that crawled out in my responses. Maybe I was just in the mood to be a little snarky.

Maybe I’m just tired of teen award shows that are more predictable and promotional than useful.

teenchoice2Here’s what I tweeted in response:

#TeenChoiceShouldHave people who just shout “WOOOO!” at whatever a good-looking celebrity says.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave a new category called “Choice Shiny Turned Up Chirped Swag Money Mupload” that makes everyone go “Is that a thing?”

#TeenChoiceShouldHave hashtags for the hashtags that you use while eating hash that’s been tagged… for salmonella.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave some sort of mad movie preview that is “so fetch.”

#TeenChoiceShouldHave a live feed of Abraham Lincoln on location at Daytona Beach.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave some reference to marriage, and how it’s between a husband and a wife. You know… to be different.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave some emo peeps connect with a swerve fam like a supersized frenemy tope moment. It’d require someone affluential, tho.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave a special “In memorium” montage to the abbreviation/phrase/hashtag “YOLO.”

#TeenChoiceShouldHave the ability to unfollow them after you friend them so you can pin it and subtract them from your circles.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave the Queen of England host the whole show. For real.

You think I’m kidding? I’ve never been more serious.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave everyone famous taking a #selfie after ordering pizza.


#TeenChoiceShouldHave ten browser tabs open at the top, each with another award show live streaming.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave a special duet between a live-action Maleficent and a cgi Elsa from Frozen.

Oh, and the Queen of England. For real.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave trending.

Then celebrations of the trending.

Then awkward “topic changing while texting” when the trending stops.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave Taco Bell.

Not sure why.

Shoot… now I’m hungry for Taco Bell.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave the urban sombrero.

Look it up.


#TeenChoiceShouldHave no wifi and be hosted in a facility that blocks cellphone signals. Film the audience. Now THAT’S entertainment!

#TeenChoiceShouldHave the countdown clock from 24 before and after every commercial.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave the cast from a new TV show that wants to appear hip and cool introduce a category about “hotties.”

#TeenChoiceShouldHave teenagers… and only teenagers. No one over 18 is admitted. #awkward

#TeenChoiceShouldHave Corey Feldman and ALF singing “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys.

#TeenChoiceShouldHave performances by the bands LOL, BRB, CYA, IMHO and OIC.

I have no idea if that entertained you.

Honestly, I laughed myself silly cranking out each one.

outoftouchThat’s what I wanted to talk to you about…

how sure are you that what you’re putting out there that you think is incredible is actually connecting with students?

Maybe they’re tired of youth ministry that is more predictable and promotional than useful.


P.S. Got any #TeenChoiceShouldHave tweets you’d create?

The Best Bible Ever!

 —  May 31, 2014 — 1 Comment


your Bible has your name gold-stamped into the cover?


Well, MY Bible…”


factThis is a super quick read.

Still, I believe something on this list will change your life for at least the next ten seconds… maybe even leak into a conversation sometime soon.

Ready? Here goes:

  • Whenever someone says “club sandwich,” just think of a regular sandwich wearing Axe Body Spray and a rhinestone covered dress shirt.And, you’re welcome.
  • “Your password must contain 8 letters, a number, a Transformer character, a green bean casserole recipe and Danny Devito.” – Every website
  • Apparently the best thing about a juice cleanse is there’s never time to eat as you’re too busy telling everyone you’re on a juice cleanse.
  • If you watch The Blind Side backwards, Sandra Bullock becomes so disappointed in her new son that she abandons him on the side of the road.
  • When stressed consider – “How much of my brain will be consumed by this in three years?” Let that context give you context.

Still unfazed? Here’s a bonus: Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers

Once again, you’re welcome.

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

The LEGO Movie.

safe_imageI imagine that by now many of you have either seen it or know of kids who have. Every once in a while you find a new way to enjoy something like this yet again.

Here’s is a fun “blooper” video that captures the spirit of the film quite well.

P.S. Don’t forget to make use of this discussion starter from the movie in your circles.

What drives you crazy?

 —  February 21, 2014 — Leave a comment

So… what drives you crazy?


It can be the little everyday things.


It can be decisions other people made you can’t understand.


It can be the carelessness of others.13

It can be the misrepresentation of what is promised.


It can be mixing two things that don’t belong together.


It can be in how something has been packaged and presented.


It can be in the lack of forethought that made something feel like an after-thought.


It can be something that is so easy to fix, yet would be such a mess to even try.


It can be in that one little, tiny thing only you notice.


It can be the pattern that you can’t seem to find or form, even after you stare at the problem in front of you for lengths of time.


So… what drives you crazy?

What everyday situations did these images remind you of?

What does all of this have to do with 1 Corinthians 14:33: “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.”

How can we pray for you?

Need a laugh?

Check out this quite-viral video by Tripp and Tyler that depicts what a conference call might look like in real life.

(And feel free to share this post. Chances are you know someone who lives in cubicle world and needs a laugh today, too)

P.S. Simply Youth Ministry / Group hosts a lot of conference calls and webinars to serve you in ministry. Any suggestions on a topic you’d like to cover and interact with others on?

When it comes to Bible translations, I’ve typically been an NIV 84 guy. I won’t be using their new version, though – from my vantage point, one too many liberties were taken in the update. I’d like to hear your thoughts on some suggestions on what to transfer over to in the future.

It’s why I like Adam Ford’s clever post on this blog about the different ways you can understand Bible translations:

So while we’re on the topic, which tends to be your personal favorite translation:

  1. For your own study?
  2. For giving to students?

Thanks for your thoughts!

P.S. Like the NIV 84, too? I found a website where you can still use it online:

Twitter is full of parody accounts, including some that only those who serve in a church may fully appreciate.

For example, here’s “The Deacon.”

Committee meetings all weekend... wish I was the pastor. Then I could just preach and go home. #ifonlypeopleunderstood #hardwork

Or if you like your deacons a little more “surly,” try the “Surly Deacon.”

Don't start any trouble at my church. I'll be all over you like a worship pastor at a skinny jeans sale.

There are those who represent the grumbling we hear from the congregation, such as the “Church Curmudgeon.”

When we've been there ten thousand years, we may just get to sing Amazing Grace the normal way again.

Then again, it’s worth noting hard pastors can have it via “Unappreciated Pastor.”

Moses' staff split the Red Sea. Mine split the church.

The “Bad Church Secretary” fesses up a bit, too.

I reminded the youth pastor he's preaching tomorrow. He'll be to embarrassed to ask around and find out he isn't.

How about a “Mad Worship Leader?”

Sure we're taking requests for this Sunday morning service.... just a sec and let me put the Holy Spirit's leading on hold... we aim to please!

How about an “Uncensored Pastor“?

Thanks for telling me how unhappy you are at our church. I was just sitting here wondering if we were making you happy or not.

Another strong one is “Stuff Christians Say.”

Changed the Wifi network at church to 'Jesus is watching you'   Bet those teens think twice about where they go online now


Lots of fun, right?


how about those directed at the Youth Ministry nation?

There’s the “Mistreated Youth Guy

Met a lady today who says she goes to the church I work at but was surprised to hear I've been the Youth Minister there for a couple years.

Or the things a “Youth Pastor Says.”

You really need to cut a larger check for the youth designated fund...I looked

A “Hipster Youth Pastor” chimes in.

I lose followers when I make fun of church camp

As well as a “Bitter Youth Pastor.”

Hey Young Life! Heard your game last night involved twerking and eating Oreos out of each others' mouths. I'm sure Jesus was glorified!

There’s even a “Ghetto Youth Pastor.”

I HATE YOUTH - Every youth pastor immediately following all major events

Not to mention a “Smug Youth Pastor.”

Still looking for the ultimate.....full time pay w/part time effort.

How does this make you feel?

A few weeks ago, I shared a post about Christian Hipsters that had its share of support and criticism. I wonder if when we read about a niche group in the church we enjoy the laughter but feel even just a tad bit defensive when we’re the ones under the spotlight?

Got a thought on this? Know of another parody account worth taking a look at?

Chime in.