VOICE OF THE YOUTH MINISTRY NATION POWERED BY Powered by simpleyouthministry.com


Stephanie Caro —  April 16, 2010 — 5 Comments

R UR CHURCH LEADERS OUTTA CONTROL (about your ministry)?

Fourth of a five part series. This one?? Church leaders who oversee the youth ministry.? Does any of this sound all too familiar?

1) Instead of heading out for coffee after a church council meeting, u head straight for the Pepto.

2) Church bylaws are quoted more often than Scripture.

3) You get a phone call from the pastor and his/her first words sound like that famous line from Apollo 13, “Houston, we have a problem.”

4)? U keep a set of empty uhaul boxes in ur office just in case.?

5) Does the phrase “torch wielding villagers” mean anything to u? (Yes, I carried this over from the “parents” list. Still fits. Sad.)

What to do?

Pray. Ignore the negative stuff (politely) except for the direct leaders? u report to.? Be accused of over-communicating. Pray some more. Know the bylaws, but use Scripture instead – its hard to shoot the Word? down. Come to meetings rested and fed. Don’t negotiate with terrorists (the leaders who threaten you). Don’t be afraid to apologize. Don’t throw other people under the bus.? ?
My #1 piece of advice? When u have one of those days, get out ur box of cards/letters/notes from people who DO like you, think ur doing God’s work? and read urself right back into joy.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Stephanie Caro

Stephanie Caro

Posts Twitter Facebook

Stephanie Caro has been involved in ministry to youth and youth workers in the local church since…well, a long time – 30+ years. Her humorous, straightforward style keeps her busy presenting and coaching at conferences, training events, camps, mission trips, retreats, churches, etc. Her latest books are, “Thriving Youth Ministry in Smaller Churches” and “99 Thoughts for the Smaller Church Youth Worker,” published by Group/Simply Youth Ministry. Stephanie is a contributing author to several youth ministry resources in addition to her regular column “Smaller Church Youth Ministry” in Group Magazine. Stephanie is Senior Consultant for Mark DeVries’ Ministry Architects and the director for their Small Church Ministry Architects division. She and her hubby, Steve, live in Houston, TX. All 7 kids are grown and out – praise God!


  1. wow! This sounds like the church my husband and I minister at! Glad to know that we are not the only ones with these struggles.

  2. You definitely hit the nail on the head with this one. Lately all of the stuff going on throughout the church is affecting me and my ministry. It has gotten so bad a few times that I even began to question the church in general. But I keep praying and trying to stay positive even though that is easier said than done!

  3. Stephanie… I appreciate your blog more and more as i come through here. Stacie and I were talking about this kind of thing tonight. Its so hard to remain positive when there is so much venom and negativity coming out of people…how to guard against it, encourage and rebuke when necessary… and to just some times walk away.
    Its hard sometimes when we have been wounded by leaders, people who think they are leaders…and just broken people who don’t know how to not hurt other people… prayer is hard in these situations. thanks for the reminder of how to re-find our joy… I have come to place though were i have to remind my self..
    My joy is not in what I do, but who i am! Who i am is never what I do, but in Who i belong to… if my joy comes from work…. i am in a world of roller coaster pain and happiness….

    blessings and love…praying for all the hurt and hurting youth ministers out there and their spouses and families… praying for the body to stop hurting its self with words of cruelty and unrealistic expectations… ok end rant here :-)

  4. Amanda, Kim and Brit: ANY TIME you’re going through a rough time and want to chat voice-2-voice, I am on the other end of the phone. Seriously, this church stuff can be very painful.

  5. Hey, can we chat over coffee??

Leave a Reply


Text formatting is available via select HTML.

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>