The taxing ministry schedule often makes finding quality “couple” time a chore.
Everyone else in the church needs a piece of your day, and when you get home you’re exhausted and spent. Then there are daily responsibilities, children, school and sports schedules to contend with, and needing individual alone time as well. Time for your marriage can get pushed to the back burner. So, it’s time to get creative!
We deal with the crazy demands of ministry as well, Melissa works part-time, and we have two kids under two — life is very full at the moment, and we’ve had to reorient our idea of quality time.
We’ve had to figure out creative ways to spend time together in the midst of all these other non-negotiable demands.
In a recent conversation with friends John and Leneita Fix (Leneita has written a couple of really great books for Simply that you should check out!), they mentioned they’ve turned grocery shopping into couple time for them, which made us think. We decided to turn the grocery run into a family affair instead of Melissa doing it solo. It’s such a small thing, but it’s had a big impact over the last few weeks. We get time to talk in the car during our 25-minute drive to and from the grocery store, and we get a fun meal together afterwards. It also frees up Melissa’s workday so she can come home more energized for couple time later that evening after the kids are in bed.
Another thing we’ve tried adjusting is our daughter’s feeding schedule. She’s still on a bottle, but we adjusted the amounts and frequency a little bit so we could put her to bed an hour earlier. This frees up an extra hour of adult, marriage, and connecting time in the evening.
We also accepted the fact that babysitting is a luxury and that we can’t always get a babysitter when we’d like. So we’ve made Thursdays our “date night” every week. This means that we might go out and get childcare. But if not, we turn off all cell phones, computers, and tablets, and spend time eating dessert, talking, cuddling, or sometimes we just fall asleep. It’s not perfect every week, but we’re trying to put some effort and creativity into finding time to connect.
We’d like to challenge you to look at your calendar together and figure out creative, new ways to connect and have quality time for your marriage.
Thanks for loving students and your families,
Jake and Melissa