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Summertime

 —  June 22, 2012 — 8 Comments

 

Yesterday was my kids last day of school!! Yippeee! I celebrated the last  wake-up call, the end of the homework packets, the final packed lunch for a while, and the chance to own all of my time and be on my own schedule…. for one whole day. Because I know with the passing of school and the coming of summer equals more time that my husband is away at CAMP. Hello, camp Mom. Welcome back weeks of entertaining and discipline by myself.

I was looking at our calendar and noticing that from now until the end of August Jeff will be gone at least 1-2 weeks out of each month. I feel nauseous just thinking about it. I don’t necessarily want to go on these camps and retreats, but I don’t like to be alone either. I really have to gear up for this. Spring and Summer time can really be a lonely time for youth pastor’s wives. I don’t think the other women in our church get it.

Most other ministries are just settling down from all the holidays. This is high time in youth ministry, and low time for our family. I know you can relate, this is definitely an area where I need prayer and support. Any ideas? It’s hard to stay strong and supportive of my husband after being alone for so many days and nights. But I know that’s the deal, that’s the calling, that’s part of my role.

Amber Cassady

Amber Cassady

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Marketer for Simply Youth Ministry and Group Mission Trips. College-aged girls small group leader. Coffee lover. Fan of skiing and hiking as much as she can!

8 responses to Summertime

  1. Angie Thompson June 25, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Wow, I can’t believe how much I am agreeing with you right now! My husband has been a youth minister for 8 years and every year I think I should be used to summertime, but I’m not. By the last retreat (which is always a full 7 days, completely out of the state–Nebraska) in July I am about ready to have a break down….and fighting the urge to become bitter about ministry.
    I’m definitely not trying to bring you down with my story, so here is what I do. I always ask Jeff to spend some extra time with us before he has to leave…maybe take our 2 girls out by himself for a night or just making sure the house, the lawn mower, and everything else is working or I at least know what to do if it stops, before he leaves. The girls and I do movies nights and I never cook a full meal when Jeff isn’t home!
    I hope this gives you some ideas….but you’ve been at it longer than I have! And…..really I try to think about the bigger picture…our husbands are showing these kids truth in a world that is full of lies….and that usually brings me back to the right place! And it makes mowing the yard, paying the bills, single parenting, locking the doors at night, and collapsing on the couch watching mindless tv at the end of the night worth it….

  2. Yes, I agree! I have only been a youth pastor’s wife for 3 summers now, but I have dread them. We have two children, under the age of 2, and it is so exhausting and so lonely. I’ve tried to make friends at our church, but no one really seems to have time on their plate for another friend. It’s been hard and I often feel like no one cares. I try to visit family when he’s gone and we are trying to add a little get-away at the end of each summer just for us. I love your blog and find it so encouraging. Being a youth minister’s wife is so much harder than I ever imagined! I’m glad that I’m not alone in these struggles, it makes me feel normal!

  3. Hi, I just came across your blog and I LOVE it!! As I was reading your posts I feel like someone “gets me”. My husband has been in youth ministry for several years and it seems like there are not a lot of resources for wives of youth pastors (or much community in this arena). We have been married for 13 years and have three kids as well. So thankful to have found your blog!! Thank you for putting yourself out there!
    Cathy :)

  4. Missing your posts! I always enjoyed reading them, knowing someone “got” me. Tonight I’m single-parenting again while the hubby is gone on a weekend youth trip. This mom needs a vacation!

  5. I relate! We don’t have as long a break for summer here in Australia, but in spring, my youth pastor hubby is away for two week-long camps in a row and the same in Summer. There’s the week in autumn as well as numerous overnighters and of course the usual, weekly late night/early mornings after youth events. Most of the time I’m fine with it and love that young people are hearing about Jesus and lives are being transformed. Some days though…

  6. Oh my- I found your site and just started crying! I’ve been married to a youth minister for almost 10 years- thus is the first summer with two kids and I was feeling ready to beg him to find another ministry but I know that’s unfair. I have one more week of him home before the constant trips and being by myself with a baby and a toddler. Thank you for reminding me that there are other women going through the same challenges.

  7. My husband and I just finished going over the calendar for the summer. Uhhh I’m exhausted. We get two weekends together all summer as a family. I am so proud of the work my husband does, but I really don’t think anyone in the church has any idea how hard my husband works or how much time is taken away from his family for their meetings….

  8. I realize this is about a year old but just had to ask. Why don’t you travel with him? I am a youth pastors wife as well. We’ve been married for 8 years and have two girls 7 and 2. We’ve always tried to do camps, conferences, Sunday school and everything together. We can’t see each other not doing it together. It’s like we support and encourage each other by being together in every event. I get that it may be a little more expensive to travel with the family and definitely more tiring but there’s no way that I would let my husband go out to camp on his own for two weeks. That being said we both take responsibility for household chores as I work full time. It all just evens out. I don’t know if you’ve ever been with him to the camps and I’m sure you support him from home but I would encourage you to go with him. My pastor always said first comes God then family and then ministry. So if you guys have to be separated for weeks at a time that, in my point of view does not work.

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