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No Purple Ministry

 —  October 5, 2012 — 8 Comments

No purple ministry. I get it. We need boundaries and we need guidelines. Historically, we’ve (the Church) made BIG mistakes and so we are afraid of repeating those mistakes so we say “no purple ministry, girl leaders help girl students and guy leaders help guy students.” Makes total sense.


Girls need male leadership in their life.

And wait for it…

Guys need female leadership in their life.

I have met girls who the only positive male in their life is their youth worker. And I have met guys who the only positive female in their life in their youth worker.

We need each other…not just the same sex others but all of the others.

A male youth worker can speak unique words into a girls’ life that can change how she sees herself and Jesus.

A female youth worker can speak unique words into a guys’ life that can change how he sees himself and Jesus.

And we haven’t even gotten started on what the opposite sex can teach them about…wait for it…the OPPOSITE SEX.

I appreciate the heart behind no purple ministry but have we taken it too far when a guy youth worker is afraid to talk with a girl because he is worried about what might happen.  I’ve seen the downside of the no purple ministry. When girls in a small youth ministry feel invisible because the youth worker doesn’t know how to approach them and their needs and there isn’t any female youth workers to care. Or the interactions I have had with young guys who don’t know how to respect a female because they have never seen one in a position of leadership or they have never had one speak into their life.

In our ministry, girl leaders care for girl students and guy leaders care for guy students. But, in our ministry, it’s okay for me to pray for a guy student at church. And it’s okay for my co-workers (who are male) to pray with a girl at church. Caring but in a safe way…kind of like the Christian side hug!

What do you think? Have we taken the no purple ministry too far? Or not far enough?



Neely McQueen


8 responses to No Purple Ministry

  1. This is a great post. I utilize college students to assist in our ministry and so I really hold to this guy/girl piece because of the age factor. However, this will be a great reminder of how each leader can impact different students regardless of male/female and I will share this with my team.

  2. Great post! Saw it via “Top Blog Posts of 2012″ – loved reading your insights,

  3. Totally feel we’ve taken it way to far. I’ve seen my own son judged and admonished because he spent too much time talking to a girl and helping her with some tough things. He was super confused as to why it was so wrong for them to be friends just because they are of the opposite gender. Not to mention don’t we want our kids to learn how to have healthy and meaningful relationships with the opposite sex prior to jumping intothe whole dating arena? If the opposite sex is just seen as someone to talk to and connect with if you are interested in dating them then that is totally missing the mark of how to nurture and develop strong healthy relationships with the opposite sex.

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