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I’m not sure whether I’m embarrassed or proud…

 —  May 21, 2012 — 6 Comments

I know many of you can relate… your husband is the church’s default funny guy. In some ways, it feels like Jeff is what the weatherman is to the local news. So, last weekend for mothers day, he was asked to create one of “those” moments for all the moms. For all you mothers, this is from him to you.

Amber Cassady

Amber Cassady

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Marketer for Simply Youth Ministry and Group Mission Trips. College-aged girls small group leader. Coffee lover. Fan of skiing and hiking as much as she can!

6 responses to I’m not sure whether I’m embarrassed or proud…

  1. BE PROUD! Funny is a gift!! And laughter is so important in this life, to live fully:)

  2. I feel your pain Amanda. My husband is also the funny guy and I’d say it’s about 60/40 when it’s comes to the times I’m proud vs. the times I’m a little embarrassed. This is probably part of the reason why he’s so great at working with students because they think he is hilarious! haha. Jeff did a great job on this video. I’d say this should be a ‘proud’ moment for you:) Thanks for sharing!

  3. Would love a perspective or article like this from husbands of youth pastors. We are neglected quite a bit on that front and it can hard to find others or encouragement, even humor as we support our wives. Thanks!

  4. Sorry I know this is completely unrelated to your post but I feel like this maybe the only place I can vent and not get treated like a nut! So it is of course camp season … Enough said right? Well I am currently sitting alone in a hotel room in nowhere USA with a sleeping toddler . Why? Because I’m the genius that thought it would be a great idea for us ( me and the little one) to come to camp. I have never been more wrong. My husband is busy and is feeling badly that he can’t spend more time with us, and I’m exhausted from chasing our 17 month old all day. In my head this was the perfect solution to the crazy summer schedule. Of course in my head I was not going to be spending the entire week standing in the corner holding a baby that wants to do anything but be quiet and stand still. I just feel sad, and lonely and kinda like a big ole dumb dumb. I simultaneously want to yell at my husband For not helping me with the kiddo and find some way to take some stress off of him Mostly I feel bad that I feel this way at all. To sum it up I’m having one of those weeks where I am just not dominating the YP wife gig.
    Side note : thank you for your blog, it is wonderful to have a safe place.

  5. Hey Kate – I always think like you do – that it will be a ton of fun to hang out with Daddy at camp. Because camp is fun – swimming, singing, someone else cooking, laughing, late-night shenanigans, etc!! I’ve totally been where you are. But, for the wife, it can be sad & lonely at times – especially when you had such lovely expectations of fun and excitement about watching your husband be good at what he does. And then you find yourself alone, still, with the child(ren), still bearing all the parenting responsibilities, while he’s at camp. The only difference is you’re in a hotel room, rather than at home. We’ve all been there and feel your pain. You’re not dumb. In fact, it’s good to try things to see if they work. And, while it wasn’t a successful week with a 17 month old, it may be fun when your baby is older. My kids are in elementary school now and it is a huge difference!!! There are several youth events that we can enjoy.

    But, I really had to change my perspective about “going to camp with Daddy,” or any church-related activity. Something that really helps me to set realistic expectations is to focus on the “job” part of pastor-hood. If he were an accountant at a tax firm, I wouldn’t expect to bring myself & the kids with him while he’s trying to meet with clients and balance their taxes. As a youth pastor, it’s his job to teach, mingle, and be present and focused at a youth camp (or whatever youth event). As the family, I can’t expect him to spend that same time with us. I have to remind myself (constantly) that it’s not a family vacation – as we tell those parishioners who think youth camp is a vacation. I have a friend whose husband is a manager at a retail shop. His work hours are very similar to my youth pastor husband’s hours. And, when his family visits him at the store, he can say “hello” and chat for a few minutes, but if a customer needs him, he has to leave his family to do his job. When I became friends with this “retail wife,” it helped me gain perspective on my husband’s job. For some reason, viewing my husband’s ministry through the “It’s his job” goggles really helps me get over myself.

    If that perspective doesn’t help you at all, just ignore it. Advice is only good if it fits your life. You will find what works for you & your family. Keep up the faith – God is with you.

  6. Kate,

    This is fantastic! I love it. Love that you are cool and embarrassed at times with what your husband does. That is totally how my wife is. Some of the embarrassment comes from her worry that people are not going to like something that I do. She is my great protector/defender/in my corner. I love that. Keep “letting” him do those crazy things. You know he loves being asked.

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